When I was sixteen, I spent hours researching colleges. At the time, I wanted to be a fashion designer, and I knew that in order to make it in the fashion industry, I needed to go to a top notch school. So as a sixteen year old, I spent hours pouring over websites looking for what schools would give me an education that would launch me into a career in fashion.
A little known fact, I ended up studying Filmmaking at Penn State.
I spent hours researching and preparing for a future career that I wasn't meant to pursue.
The funny thing is that the same thing happened when I decided to study film. I spent hours researching top notch schools that would propel me into a career in the film industry. I wanted to be the next big director, and I needed to find the perfect school to get me there. I researched and worried. Would attending this school lead to success? Would this program prepare me for the future I wanted?
A little known fact, I work for a campus ministry.
I spent hours researching and worrying about what school I would attend that would prepare me to be a film director, but God had other plans.
The same thing happened when I started praying about the desire God placed in my heart to minister to college students. I spent hours worrying and thinking about support raising and God calling me out of the boat to walk on water towards him.
If you haven't noticed, there's a pattern. I'm a worrier. And I believe a lie that worrying and anxiously thinking about things helps me.
I'm going to let you in on a secret, it doesn't.
I believe the lie that worry will give me peace or a sense of control.
In my anxiety and worry, I'm actually fearful of the future, so I try to gather as much information about the "future" as possible to feel like I have control.
But I don't have control, so I spin.
Have you ever felt like this? Like life is out of your hands, that there's so many unknowns about your future, and you have no control? How do you respond in seasons or times when you're fearful of the unknown of the future?
Yesterday's Scripture was Matthew 8: 25-34 - a pretty popular passage. There's a reason it's popular, and I think it's because everyone at some point in their life will struggle with anxiety and worry and a general fear of the future.
But this passage of Scripture offers hope in the midst of worry, anxiety, and fear of the future, and we'll take a look at that tomorrow.
This post is part of a 31 day series called Faith > Fear. You can read all of the posts in this series here.
Hey There! I'm Madi,
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She Laughs Without Fear